Creative Ideas for Wedding Songs
(March, 2002)
As the wedding season comes upon us, a lot of couples ask Jane Delasalle and I what music we
recommend for a wedding. An engaged couple will usually come up after mass, smiling
curiously, and introduce themselves.
We try to guide them according to their tastes and in line with church doctrine. The church instructs that "…the texts intended to be sung must always be in
conformity with Catholic doctrine. Indeed they should be drawn chiefly from the
Sacred Scripture and from liturgical sources."1
In the wedding sacrament we bless couples with prayers for enduring love and
mutual understanding. We pray for their wisdom and understanding, and for the
covenant they are making. Before the priest, friends and family often read passages
from the bible specially picked for that day.
The congregation is always encouraged to join in and sing when it's their turn,
and weddings are no exception. This includes the responses to the parts of the
mass. Perhaps you have a favorite hymn or mass that in a special way speaks
to you and family members about this special occasion. The readings you pick
may also affect the choice of songs. Remember, you have permission to sing in
church!
In general, the music for a wedding ceremony should complement the other parts
of the ceremony, and talk about the vow of lifelong companionship, and express the joy, intimacy and permanence of the sacrament. This leaves out "love soft as an easy chair", "perhaps love is like a flower" etc.
(and these are probably better done at your reception anyway). I would encourage
you to consider the many other songs that fit the bill, and to pick at least one from the General Music For Worship section
of our Heritage Missal.
The general parts of a wedding where music can be sung are as follows:
a) The Psalm is the song immediately after the first reading, and it is
often sung. The text is usually taken from the Book of Psalms, but can also be
from other biblical passages that lead us to praise God. Many psalms have been
set to music and can be found in our Heritage Missal.
b) The Offertory is immediately after the homily and before the presentation
of the gifts. The music we choose here should deepen our understanding of the
awesome event that is about to happen on the altar. This is first point where
the Ave Maria can be done. Also, consider the words to Wherever You
Go:
"Wherever you go, I will go,
Wherever you live, so shall I live.
Your people will be my people,
And your God will be my God too."2
c) Music for the lighting of the Unity candle (if a candle is used). Again, music about love and the covenant of marriage are best. The Ave Maria, if not already done, is also appropriate here.
Or, perhaps:
"Make of our hands one hand,
Make of our hearts one heart,
Make of our vows one last vow,
Only death will part us now."3
d) The Communion hymn (if you are having a mass). St. Thomas Aquinas said "to love is to will the good of another." 4 Christ (the bridegroom) loved the church (his bride) so much that he died for
her on the cross, in a kind of marriage. Not only can Christ
come to us in body and blood in the mass, but the man and woman can actually symbolize Christ's
bond with the church.
Consider these words from a favorite wedding song of mine:
"As the church is loved by Christ,
So the man now must love his wife.
As the church for Christ is to live,
So the wife her life to her husband she'll give...
The miracle of ages...
that two can come as two, and leave as one."5
I would encourage you to ask Jane or
myself, or any of the other members of the music ministry at our church, to give you feedback and suggestions for songs at
your wedding. We're happy to share our love for the music. May God bless the engaged couples of our parish, and all couples, with the peace of Christ,
and much happiness!
David Morrissey
References:
1
Catechism, paragraph 1158. (SC 121).
2
"Wherever you go" (Gregory Norbet)
3 "One
Hand, One Heart", West Side Story, (Bernstein)
4
Catechism, paragraph 1766. (S Th I-II, 26, 4, corp. art.).
5
"Time For Joy" (Limpic)
