The “12 Steps” of Christmas

(December, 2004)

A friend of ours had a problem.  There were two types of people in his life: The ones that had given up on him and the ones that didn’t know him yet.  You may have seen him stumbling out of a bar at night, or slumped over a cup of coffee the next day, numb, in a fog, trying to come to from a night of heavy drinking, a place we saw him so many times.

 

And then it all stopped.  He came to us, and told us of one miserable day, when at the end of his rope, he found peace through a new fellowship.  It wasn’t exactly a religious society, but it had been helping ex-drunks to return, like prodigal sons and daughters, to their faiths.  And they did this by sitting around, drinking coffee, sharing their experience, strength, and hope in recovery.  Together they grew along spiritual lines, trusting their higher power to release them from the bondage of alcohol.  Our friend now understood that he had developed an allergy to alcohol – physically, mentally, and spiritually, that made him process it differently from non-alcoholics.  He wasn’t trying to reform the world, just get himself better.  And his medicine was these meetings.

 

We wondered if this guy was for real.  It seemed too good to be true - a fellowship of alcoholics?  Who was in charge?  God.  The “Higher Power”.  “God as we understood Him” was in charge.  Did it cost a lot of money?  No dues or fees – they just passed a basket at meetings to cover expenses – rent, coffee, etc.  He was free to contribute whatever he wanted, or nothing at all.  Who goes?  People of every walk of life, and every faith, or no faith at all.  What is required to be a member?  Only the desire to stop drinking.  How does it work?  By admitting powerlessness over alcohol, trusting God, making restitution wherever possible, and carrying this message to alcoholics – the “12 Steps” of A.A. lead to recovery and spiritual awakening.  Could anyone else go to meetings?  Along with closed meetings, most groups had an open meeting each week where friends of the alcoholic could come in as well, and they could all sit and listen to stories of recovery.

 

Our friend had found a way to live without drinking, a way that brought him back to God and his true friends.  He apologized for not repaying that loan, for hurting our feelings so many times, for making us worry at seeing a friend drive drunk and putting his family through hell…

 

At first his family was suspicious.  When would they wake up from this dream, to find that old friend, misery, back for an even longer stay?   They reluctantly went to a meeting, and to their surprise heard laughter along with the tears.  They found fellowship with the families and friends of alcoholics, and learned to take care of themselves. 

 

Eventually our friend’s family seemed like a weight was off their shoulders.  In time they became a fixture in church again.  They slowly grew in self-confidence, and started reaching out to others in the same boat.  Like grateful survivors drifting to shore in a life-raft, life became livable and even enjoyable again.

 

Like other illnesses, alcoholism strikes all sorts of people.  The holidays may be a particularly tough time for some.  Our friend now volunteers in soup kitchens and gives of himself anonymously, carrying the message of hope for the still sick and suffering.  As part of his recovery, he makes himself available to the newcomer, their family and friends, to pass on what was so freely given to him.  And that’s how it works, “One Day At A Time”.

 

Alcoholics Anonymous has a 24 hour hotline at (631) 669-1124.  They can tell you where to find a meeting, or have a recovering alcoholic call back to help.  Their website can be found at http://www.suffolkny-aa.org.  An Open meeting list is available for anyone who wants to find out more, be it the alcoholic or a friend or family member.  Books are for sale at meetings, but literature is free.   

 

Our parish (St. John the Evangelist RCC, Center Moriches, NY) has A.A. meetings in the barn from 6:45 - 7:45 am, Sunday through Wednesday, Friday and Saturday.  Although A.A. is not affiliated with any outside organization, volunteer A.A. members often cooperate with organizations to hold informational meetings about alcoholism and recovery.  They go to schools, hospitals, jails, companies, wherever they can carry the message of hope.

 

The web address for Al-Anon Family Groups is http://www.al-anon-suffolk-ny.org and you can call 1-888-4AL-ANON (1-888-425-2666) Monday thru Friday, 8 am – 6 pm ET for meeting information throughout the US and Canada.

 

David Morrissey